so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
