We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I wear drunk well.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
