He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
