i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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