I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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