There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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