why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This can only be settled by a dance off.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
