Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My vagina is officially offended.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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