You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
