there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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