we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
