You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
