ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
