I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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