do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
