Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
