Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't deserve a penis
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
