I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
