how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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