i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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