Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
