I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Houston, we have a blender
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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