My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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