considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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