No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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