Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
