So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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