With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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