dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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