i just wanna soil my oats bro
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
