You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
