We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
