...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
