evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
vagina is talking i cant
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
