I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
