A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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