So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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