I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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