Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
