Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the day after is always just damage control
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
