as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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