playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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