Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
