So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
don't judge my taste in strippers
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
