Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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