dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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