I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
