Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
