I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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