you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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