I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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