Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
