I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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