"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
